Lost in MY life

For Calvary on Campus we are doing the "poster board testimonials". This is a way for people to give a quick overview of what God has done in their life and to give God glory for his faithfulness. Essentially, we are to try to explain our pre-Christ life and then on the back, we flip it around and give a quick view of what God has done to correct that. It's a pretty cool way for us to share our faith a little and to help tell a small fraction of our story.

I was asked if I would be willing to do it. At first I resisted, I'm not completely sure why, but I felt like I could not quantify my pre-Christ existence in one simple phrase. I was disobedient to my parents, teachers, and people in authority. I didn't care for women like I was supposed to, I didn't protect them from sin or attempt to protect their emotions. I indulged in the party scene and cared more about how the people I was with viewed me, so I was able to "fake" what I thought they wanted to see and hear from me depending on who I was with. I was concerned with MY comfort, MY emotions, MY outward appearance. And in that lay the answer. My pre-Christ existence could be narrowed down to one thing: I was focused on MY life.

After coming to Christ (sort of when I was 16, actually when I was 20) the focus had to shift. It had to be HIS will, HIS glory, HIS life. Going through Men's Fraternity helped me understand how my actions affect not only me but people in my life, including women, my friends and my family. The view had to change from "it's my life why do you care?" to "how can I serve you better?". There are still areas I need to serve better in but I am slowly coming to ask that question more. It also meant giving up control, James 4:15-17 says:

"Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that' As it is you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn't do it, it is sin for them." (NIV)

Stacy gave a sermon on serving the other week and discussed one of the benefits of serving is that it takes the focus off us and onto others. Jesus himself says that the two greatest commandments are to love the lord your God with all your heart and to love your neighbor as yourself. We are to focus outwardly on others and on God's will and not on our own plans and ideas. My pre-Christ existence was measured by my life. How to make myself happy. In my Christ existence the question needs to be turned to how can I follow Christ, and how can I love others. I am still growing in that. I am getting better at serving others and keeping God in focus which has been a long process with a few dropped opportunities on the way, but thank God for grace.

Taking the focus off my life has also helped me to live my faith better. Earlier in James, James says,

"If one of you says to them, 'Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,' but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." (James 2:16-17)

James is not saying that we need to EARN faith, but rather if we HAVE faith, there needs to be a radical change in how we live and who we focus on. I have seen that in my life for sure and hope to see it as I continue to grow in faith.

Looking at my pre-Christ existence was good. It helped me to reflect on how much I have grown in Christ and His amazing faithfulness. Reflecting on my past helped me realize even more how much I need Jesus and his grace, as well as the Holy Spirit and his guidance and work in my heart. Jeremiah 2:13 comes to mind when I think about living for myself.

"My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me: the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water" (NIV)

We have substituted REAL life for MY life. We pour our life giving water into comforts, jobs, sex, drugs, and any number of broken cisterns but they cannot hold that water. Eventually the excitement and thrill of those things die, and we are left trying to find the next broken cistern to pour our water into. I know my pre-Christ existence embodied that. But when you turn to the source of that water, you no longer need those earthly goods and your vision turns outward.

Until next time, God Bless.